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Hello, i'm Monstermaster13 - i'm a writer and horror movie fanatic and I do lists of various different subjects. Feel free to look around and to vote if you see anything you like.

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Recent reviews

All reviews - Movies (12) - TV Shows (1)

The Human Centipede II review

Posted : 2 years, 5 months ago on 14 October 2014 08:41 (A review of The Human Centipede II)

I had a very unpleasant experience with someone who claims to actually like this movie, it's god-awful and gross - there is NOTHING good about having your ass-stuck to someone else's mouth. It is not sexy, it is not creative, it is just gross. Roger Ebert was absolutely right.


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The Human Centipede review

Posted : 2 years, 5 months ago on 14 October 2014 08:39 (A review of The Human Centipede)

I had a very unpleasant experience with someone who claims to actually like this movie, it's god-awful and gross - there is NOTHING good about having your ass-stuck to someone else's mouth. It is not sexy, it is not creative, it is just gross. Roger Ebert was absolutely right.


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Mockingbird Lane review

Posted : 2 years, 6 months ago on 20 September 2014 11:52 (A review of Mockingbird Lane)


If you are a child of the 60's you will no doubt already be familiar with The Munsters, as one of the two main horror themed comedy shows - this show truly was a great example of how horror and comedy can mix well.

My parents watched the show all the time when they were young and to this day it is one of their favorite shows.

Like it's counterpart, the Addams Family - this was a series that was a mix of horror and humor and was centered around a supernatural family.

The first introduction to the Munsters was the tv movie Here Comes The Munsters and it was a really great fun movie.

The original Munsters tv series run from 1964-1966, it spun off a video game and two movies including a Christmas special.


This review is a review of the pilot for the revival known as Mockingbird Lane. Starring Portia Di Rossi, Jerry O'Connell, Chasity Wakefield, Mason Cook and one of my all time favorite comedians Eddie Izzard.

Mockingbird Lane is a darker and edgier take on the classic monster comedy show, as it expands more on the background on the family.

The history of this pilot's origin goes back to November of last year when NBC Announced that they would be dong a 'reboot' of the classic series, it wasn't until January of this year that it would end up getting the title of Mockingbird Lane and the characters looks would be toned down to look more human-like.

It was during March of this year, Eddie Izzard was one of the first cast members to be added as he was announced to play Grandad. Later on the other cast members Jerry O Connell, Charity Wakefield, Portia Di Rossi and Mason Cook were announced and later added to the cast.

Bryan Fuller (who also brought us Pushing Daisies) was added as director and producer and thus Mockingbird Lane was born.

The pilot aired on 26th of October, and helped boost ratings for NBC gaining a 1.5/5 ratings share for adults aged 18-49.

The story revolves around the family as they move in to their new home at Mockingbird Lane, which is where a series of gruesome murders took place in the past.

Eddie (Mason Cook) is having problems coming to terms with not only the fact he's going through puberty but also that is a werewolf but his parents have never told him about it.

This is a very good and well-written story with plenty of dark humour, i'm not going to spoil too much for you though.

I thought the performances were superb especially Eddie Izzard as Grandpa, who has some of the best lines in this entire pilot.

The setting works well as does the dark humour and supernatural elements, in overall I really liked it - it was really interesting and it's a pity that NBC has decided against making this an official series.

My only nitpick is that they made the Munster family look more normal instead of monster-like but it's only a minor one, and to be honest I really wasn't bothered by it that much at all.

Even though I am usually not the type to like the kind of special effects used in movies and shows of today, I admired the sfx used for this.

Including a bunch of rats crawling around and then turn into a grandpa, a cloud of dust turning into Lily, and Grandpa in his demon-like bat creature form (which is awesome!).

I watched it just recently on youtube and I'm glad to say that it more than just met my expectations, it satisfied them as well.

Also...for those true horror fans out there, there is a cameo by John Kassir who you might know as the voice of the Crypt Keeper in Tales From The Crypt (both live action and animated).


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Arthur review

Posted : 2 years, 6 months ago on 2 September 2014 08:54 (A review of Arthur)

Why was this even made? Look I do not hate Russell Brand. It's just...why? Why is that man popular? He just acts like a sex-crazed party animal most of the time and he only appears in movies either shirtless or naked, in other words just fan-service for girls/women who are just plain desperate, crazy or both. He was so annoying in this movie and not to mention the Batman costume...he just HAD to remind us of Joel Schumacher's Batman and Robin.


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The Honeymooners review

Posted : 2 years, 7 months ago on 30 August 2014 12:01 (A review of The Honeymooners)

I'm not racist or anything but...what were they thinking when they cast Cedric as Ralph? What? Was John Goodman busy or something? I respect African Americans as much as I do other ethnicity but The Honeymooners was a show with a mainly Caucasian cast.


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Wired review

Posted : 2 years, 7 months ago on 27 August 2014 05:06 (A review of Wired)

Piece of crap biopic. I'm sorry but words cannot describe the stupidity of this movie. Nothing makes sense, it has unnecessary fantasy elements and it's just one extremely crappy PSA about the dangers of drug use.


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Wolf review

Posted : 2 years, 7 months ago on 20 August 2014 12:15 (A review of Wolf)


With the recent reports of wolves in France, no - that’s NOT an American Werewolf In Paris reference...I think it’s about time that I talked about a movie with a very ‘wolfy’ theme to it.

If you stayed around for the end of my previous review, you would know that I mentioned that this movie would be something Jack Nicholson related. Now if you know me, you’d know I fan-boy over Nicholson just as much as I do over Walken. Because Nicholson, like Walken is an acting badass who can get away with anything and everything and yet can do no wrong.

He can play mentally tortured characters with ease, he can play demented mad men with ease, and he can be sober and sarcastic as well. Jack can do it all, contrary to his characters - he is a very nice man in real life and is also a devoted Lakers fan. My first love and admiration for him started with Witches Of Eastwick with the character Daryl Van Horne. Now that’s a devil I wouldn’t mind selling my soul to! He can go from a movie like One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest, The Shining or Easy Rider to something like Something’s Gotta Give, The Bucket List, About Schmidt, or Anger Management. With his iconic smile, he is like a humanized Cheshire Cat - that is if that nickname wasn’t taken by Tim Curry.

There’s even a fictional video game based on him called Crab Nicholson Extreme Sleepover. Yes, Jack Nicholson as a crab...having an extreme sleepover! And with no mittens and a rather menacing set of claws!

Now because this is a monster mash, this review is focussed on a werewolf movie. As a fan of shapeshifters, in particular werecreatures - I think it’s time I gave you a bit of a backstory. Because like vampires, werewolves/werecreatures in general have been around for centuries, invoking both fear and fascination in people’s minds and hearts.

A Werewolf is a man or woman who transforms from a human into a wolf-like beast every night, most of the time this is mentioned in werewolf media the full moon is involved, now scientifically speaking the actual span of a full moon is every 28 days and while in real life it is scientifically impossible to turn into a werewolf or any were-animal in general - there is such thing as clinical lycanthropy which is a mental disorder. There is also a couple of medical conditions that give you werewolfish attributes, including one that affects females.


Wolf, directed by Mike Nichols was released in 1994, starring Jack Nicholson as Will Randall, a struggling writer who is attacked and bitten by a wolf on a trip to Vermont after running said wolf over with his car.

From then on he undergoes the process of becoming well...wolf-like, getting inhuman strength and agility, growing ‘fur’, claws, fangs and not to mention heightened senses, increased confidence, increased aggression and an increased sex drive. In other words, he becomes quite the sexy beast - literally. Hmm...I wonder if that’s the reason why Russell Brand has so many fan-girls despite being so repulsive in appearance. I mean he’s hairy enough, do you think he could be….a werewolf?

Laura who is played by Michelle Pfeiffer even falls for him, but she doesn’t realize he’s transforming into a werewolf. I love her in this, she makes a great love interest for him in this movie. After all, she also played Catwoman and starred in Witches Of Eastwick alongside him.

And he pulls it off rather well. Jack is one pretty awesome werewolf! Well..he is Jack Nicholson after-all. His werewolf transformation is a gradual one and it’s more like a traditional Wolfman than a four-legged werewolf but it’s still pretty awesome, thanks to the makeup done by Rick Baker. He looks like a mix of Wolverine from the X-Men and Monroe in his woged state from the NBC series Grimm.

Nicholson rocked the Wolverine look before the X-Men movies were even made! And he looks awesome! I wouldn’t want to mess with him. Not to mention his smile is twice as terrifying here because of the fangs. Before Hugh Jackman, there was Jack!

He is given an amulet to control his transformation but it goes awry after he bites his rival who is played by James Spader, turning him into a werewolf as well. Now the fur really starts flying - literally!

I have to say that out of all the werewolf movies i’ve seen, only this one comes close to beating An American Werewolf In London, The Howling, both versions of the Wolfman and possibly Bad Moon, because it mixes the mythology of werewolves in with drama and office politics and also it’s got Jack Nicholson as our lead big bad wolf. Remember when he recited the Three Little Pigs in The Shining? Well...I guess it was leading up to him becoming a werewolf in this! What can I say? He’s Jack Nicholson! Before Crab Nicholson, there was werewolf Nicholson! Screw Team Jacob, i’m on team Nicholson!

You have to check this movie out if you love werecreatures, werecreature movies or if you love Jack Nicholson. It’s severely underrated and worth a watch if you’re in the mood for some wolf action.


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The Stepford Wives review

Posted : 2 years, 7 months ago on 19 August 2014 09:56 (A review of The Stepford Wives)

For those not in the know the Stepford Wives was originally a novel that got made into a movie in the 1970's.

In 2004, this movie was remade. The director of this movie is Frank Oz, who you Muppet-fans out there might know as the voices behind Miss Piggy and Fozzie Bear - he also voiced Yoda in Star Wars and also directed The Score with Marlon Brando, Little Shop Of Horrors and quite a few other movies.

This centers around Joanna Eberhart (Nicole Kidman) a female TV executive who despite being rather sucessful...suffers a nervous breakdown which causes her to get fired from the network. Following this she decides that it would be the best if she and her family moved to Stepford.

She befriends an author named Bobbee (Bette Midler) and a gay man by the name of Roger (Roger Bart, who you Disney fans might know as the singing voice of Hercules.) Speaking of Disney...Miss Midler was the voice of Georgette in Oliver And Company and also played one of three witches in Hocus Pocus.

The town is run by Claire Wellington (Glenn Close, - who as you might already know played a certain fur-crazed villainess.) and her husband Mike...who of course is played by Christopher Walken. Mike appears during the scene where Sarah (Faith Hill) spins out of control during a country hoedown.

Joanna's husband is played by Matthew Broderick...who if you are a Disney fan you would know as Adult Simba and Inspector Gadget.

Stepford is quite a nice, quiet..crime free little burb...almost a little too perfect. As Joanna begins to notice that not everything is as it seems.

The women are almost inhumanly nice and perfect...not to mention loyal to their husbands, and even Roger starts turning straight and running for Mayor of Stepford.

Turns out that Mike invented a program that he uses to change the wives...and make them that way. It involves mind control chips that drasticially alter their personalities.

I can honestly say that you'll be surprised when you see the ending. I know I was. But I am not going to spoil it for you.

I actually really liked this movie. I heard that it had a very troubled production but it doesn't really show here. I thought it was really interesting. The cast was all great especially Nicole Kidman and the others.

The special effects were intriguing and the costumes and sets were very elegant and stylish. And yes for those are wondering....Walken dances in this movie.


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Sleepy Hollow review

Posted : 2 years, 7 months ago on 16 August 2014 12:22 (A review of Sleepy Hollow)

Everyone knows the classic story of the Headless Horseman and they've seen the Disney cartoon and read the story so there's not much to go over here.

But for those who don't or haven't watched it...allow me to explain everything that goes on.

This dark masterpiece stars Johnny Depp as Ichabod Crane, a detective who is called over to the town of Sleepy Hollow to investigate a series of murders which all involving beheading.

This is directed by Tim Burton who has made various other movies that i've loved including Beetlejuice.

I think Depp does a wonderful job of portraying the character, making him cowardly but also very intelligent and noble at times as well.

Starring alongside him is Christina Ricci, who also portrayed Wednesday in The Addams Family. I have to say she is very elegant and enchanting as Katrina.

Lady Van Tassell is portrayed by Miranda Richardson, who if you're a fan of British comedy - you might know as Queenie in Blackadder II. She does a very wonderful job of being witchy and psychotic in this.

Also there is a returning appearance by Jefrey Jones, who appeared previously in Ed Wood and Beetlejuice.

For fans of Harry Potter, there is definitely a notable appearance by one of the three actors who portrayed Dumbledore in the movies based off the books - Michael Gambon.

If you're a Star Wars fan like I am, you would be very esctastic that there are 3 Sith Lord actors in this movie....the first is Christopher Lee ("Darth Tyranus/Count Dooku", or if you're a LOTR fan "Saruman") the second is Ian McDermid ("Palpatine") and the third is Ray Park ("Darth Maul", my second favorite sith lord.)

Of course you can't have a horror movie without a monster and oh boy are you in for a treat. Our Headless Horseman here has the honor of being portrayed by two different people.

For scenes that have him in headless form he is played by Ray Park who I mentioned earlier...and for scenes that have him with his head on like flashbacks...he is played by Christopher Walken.

Which in my opinion makes this his best performance ever! And the reason I became the obsessed fan in the first place.

This is a very interesting Walken role for many reasons...the first of being that this one of the first few movies in which Walken has a kissing scene, and the second being that this is a role where Walken doesn't speak.

In fact...the majority of his lines are like this....*he clears his throat*...."AAAAAAAAAAAAAWR! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Yep..he growls like a savage werecreature in this movie and it's trucking awesome! The fact the entire movie is a homage to Hammer Horror movies is awesome in itself...but upon hearing that Walken based the Hessian on Lon Chaney Jr as the Wolfman? That is double awesome!

The Hessian is a mercenary that was sent by the British..but unlike most who came for money related purposes....he kills strictly because...well....he is bloodthirsty...he LOVES gore and violence and especially blood.

But I don't really think the Hessian is evil. I actually think he's a misunderstood soul. I felt sorry for him. All he wanted was his head back....but Lady Van Tassell used him and controlled him. *sobs* Why?

This movie is chock full of thrills and scares as well as a bit of dark humour as well. Not to mention the acting is top notch and so are the costumes, sets, music and special effects.

Being that this is a horror movie there are a LOT of killings, violence, gore, and blood.


Anyway...I loved Sleepy Hollow and everything about it was amazing..and awesome, I heavily reccomend this movie if you are a fan of horror movies, Tim Burton, Johnny Depp or Christopher Walken.


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Balls of Fury review

Posted : 2 years, 7 months ago on 14 August 2014 02:53 (A review of Balls of Fury)

The movie is called Balls of Fury and is a spoof of martial arts movies...it is also a homage to the sport known as table tennis/ping-pong.

It revolves around our main protagonist Randy Daytona who is portrayed by Dan Fogler, he is introduced to us via a dove and is a down on his luck former ping pong olympic champion.

He is brought in by an FBI agent named Rodriguez (George Lopez ) to help track down the man who killed his father.

But in order for that to happen he is trained by Master Wong (James Hong) and his niece the super attractive Maggie (played by Maggie Q).

Which is also where we get to see some extremely well executed ping pong matches including one against a little girl - and this little girl is nicknamed "The Dragon".

Yes, the majority of gags involve stereotypes and shots to the family jewels and such but they're still funny.

They arrive in China in which they meet our resident Big Bad....who is a Chinese ping-pong master/warlord named Feng. Played by none other than Christopher Walken. And I have to say he really did impress me here.

He's proven time after time again that he's great at making fun of himself and the fact that he's known for playing bad guys and this is no acception. He's brilliant here and the costumes he wears are beautiful.

My particular favorite has to be the one he wears during the ping pong match against Randy..it reminds me of a bit of the outfit MJ wore during the History period (like one of the covers of the History I and II dvds) and also because of the black armour - a lot of the Hessian as well.

Without spoiling too much for you....I can say that this movie is without a doubt one of the funniest movies I have ever seen, it's got quite an awesome soundtrack too.

The cast is superb, I found Dan Fogler to be very likable and also almost like Jack Black in some sense - because Randy does share similarities to some of Jack Black's film roles. I liked George Lopez, he was pretty good.

Maggie Q...wow! She was amazing and attractive. As was Alisha Taylor.

But to me..the highlight was Christopher Walken as Feng. How can you NOT like Walken? That man is incredible.

And everything Walken says is infectious. Because sometimes you might find yourselves getting the urge to actually say them. *his voice gets lower and more Walken-like* I've gotta have more cowbell! The ICE IS GONNNA BREAK! Two little mice fell in a bucket of cream...oh crap, it's happening again.

For those fans out there who love to hear the more musical side of Walken, you can hear him sing during the End credits performance of "Pour Some Sugar On Me."

This movie is hillarious and I heavily suggest watch this...there are lots of great cameos too like Patton Oswald, Robert Patrick (for those who don't know Robert was the original Terminator in the first movie of said series.), Terry Crews (who is also now in The Expendables I and II), Diedrick Bader (if you're an animation fan you might know him as the voice of Batman in Batman: The Brave and the Bold, as well as numerous other cartoons - including Hoss Delgado in the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy), Thomas Lennon (who also produces this movie as well) and Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa.

Cary played the role of one of the gorilla guards in Planet of the Apes but one of his more noteworthy roles was Shang Tsung in the live action Mortal Kombat movie. Yes! Shang Tsung is in this movie.

The humor was quite good, nothing too crude it was all really enjoyable and i'm glad I had the chance to watch it.


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Posted: 1 year, 1 month ago at Feb 27 1:42
Dear, Friend how are you, Dear contact me at ( happinessoneil25@gmail.com ) i need to tell you more about me and send you some of my pictures.
Posted: 2 years, 2 months ago at Jan 21 10:06
Thank You My Friend For The List Vote.
Have A Beautiful Day.
Posted: 2 years, 3 months ago at Dec 15 21:21
Thanks for the Catherine Zeta Jones pic votes!
Posted: 2 years, 3 months ago at Dec 13 22:30
Thanks for the list vote :}
Posted: 2 years, 3 months ago at Dec 13 10:14
Thank you for the Elizabeth Hurley list vote and for adding it to lists you've made.
Posted: 2 years, 4 months ago at Nov 13 11:44
Thank you. :)
Posted: 2 years, 5 months ago at Oct 28 3:55
Thanks, too, for the Love Bites list vote.
Posted: 2 years, 5 months ago at Oct 23 3:04
Thanks for the S-s-s-s-s list vote.
Posted: 2 years, 5 months ago at Oct 21 10:28
Thanks for the list vote. :)
Posted: 2 years, 5 months ago at Oct 7 18:33
Here's my new list!
the evolution of Modern Family actor Ty Burrell!
Posted: 2 years, 5 months ago at Oct 4 10:24
Thanks for the list vote, Monstermaster! Have a great weekend. :)
Posted: 2 years, 6 months ago at Oct 1 5:40
Thanks for the vote :)
Posted: 2 years, 7 months ago at Aug 13 13:12
Thanks for the suggestion. How could I miss Hurley!? Added.
Posted: 2 years, 8 months ago at Jul 30 14:13
thanx 4 your vote :)

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